


Let's Stop Time

by xanster



Series: Deja Vu No Matter The World [1]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 21:23:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3705203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanster/pseuds/xanster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is the end of the Tohoshinki WITH Tour;<br/>Changmin wants time to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Stop Time

  
Everyday was a day closer to the end.

Changmin could feel it in his bones as he woke up each morning. He tried to hold it back, pretending everything was okay. But how could he, when his heart beat as though it was dying?

In the various interviews they had to do for their 10th anniversary in Japan, Changmin tried to find the proper words to describe what Yunho meant to him, what Tohoshinki meant to him. But words failed him, failed him again and again every damn time. His answers came out looking short and inadequate, even though Yunho would shake his head insistently, proclaiming they were perfect.

_No, how do you define partner, friend, brother, family, and most of all, how do you define love?_

He walked to the Meguro River at 2am that morning, unable to sleep.

The cherry blossom trees were starting to bloom, and the lamplights showed off a soft hue.  
"It is a time for separation." Changmin had said, about Sakuramichi, their latest single and 10th anniversary gift for fans. He had laughed as he said it, but inside, he had almost retched. He felt nauseated again as he stared at the cherry blossoms.

_Because what am I supposed to do when you're not here with me?_

When he got home, Yunho was awake and sitting in the dark in the living room.

"Changmin-ah, come over here for a bit."

Startled, he looked over at the clock and noticed the time.  
2.06.  
How apt.

"Why are you up, hyung?" he asked.  
"I could ask you the same." came the reply.

He had walked to the sofa and taken a seat next to the other, hands clasped together on his lap and waited.

"It's our last day together as Tohoshinki on stage, later." Yunho murmurs, voice low.

"Promise me one, thing."

"What?"

"That you'll wait for me to come back too."

_Don't you know my heart, hyung?_

\---

Changmin feels his heart burn as he looks around the dome, trying to mentally singe the images of the 2 month-long Tohoshinki WITH tour in his head, he feels his resolve crumbling. Eyes reddening from the sheer effort, he looks away.

Only to see his partner of 11 years break down beside him.

"Let's make this promise, we will definitely return. Let's meet again, in this place!" Yunho shouts, his chest painfully clenching as he fights against the tide of tears that threaten to fall.

"See, I am smiling. I won't cry."

Changmin too breaks, and the rush of tears fall. Yunho's hand has covered his face and he is sobbing out loud. Changmin wants to hold him, embrace him and promise him forever. But he remembers their whispered agreement the night before, and he walks over instead, rubbing Yunho's shoulder and squeezing his neck.

As they end the concert, Changmin hurries inside. The usual high-fives with the staff and crew backstage is subdued. He takes his place at the end of the line, waiting. Achi next to him gives him a side-hug and a sad smile.

**They know.**

Yunho comes in and everyone falls quiet. Yunho looks around at the faces staring back at him, and smiles.

"Thank you everyone. For all these years. Thank you."

And then he bows, a deep bow, with his hands on his knees. And the sniffling starts. Changmin doesn't remember when the tears started to fall again, but he sees Sam-san walk over to Yunho and hug him. And then he notices the trembling of Yunho's shoulder as the man starts to cry again. Achi beside him, Sonny too, and everyone else has started to cry and hug each other as the chant of "Tohoshinki" from the fans outside continue to echo backstage.

And Changmin himself rushes around the corner, head back against the wall, away from the crowd. The tears rush down in rivers as his heart bangs against his chest, screaming internally for the pain to stop.

_What is so good about goodbye?_

When Yunho finds him later, tears all used up after hugging everyone else, Changmin is curled up against the floor, eyes blood-shot and shirt sleeve soaked. He kneels down beside the younger and takes him into his arms, leaning his forehead against the other.

"You promised, too, remember?"

\---

They perform Sakuramichi for the last time on Japanese television the day after. As Yunho talks about the time of their Japanese debut and how he had practised Japanese by listening to songs, Changmin has images flash back in his head. Of Yunho at 15, of Yunho at 18, of Yunho at 23, at 25 and now at 29.

His pillar of support, his leader, and his hyung.

\---

"See you back home."  
"I don't get why you can't come along."  
"I have to go back first, you know why."  
"Hyung.."  
"Min-ah, it's okay. See you at home."

Eunhyuk later jokes on stage that when one thinks of Tohoshinki, one thinks of Changmin. Changmin almost blurts out a snarky remark in response,but remembers where he is in time and smiles instead.

 _Don't they know, there is no me, without you._  
\---

He opens the front door and drops his bag, listening. But the apartment is quiet. A half-drunk mug of coffee on the counter is the only evidence someone else was there before. Changmin shakes his head and moves to the sink to wash it but then he stops.

Suddenly, he is overcome by this desire, this want, this longing to have half-drunk mugs of coffee left on the counter everyday. Every day of his life.

His eyes burn again and he sinks low, against the refrigerator.

_How much time do I have left with you?_

\---

Yunho comes home and notices Changmin's bag on the floor. His eyes stop on the mug of coffee on the counter and an eyebrow quirks in surprise. Usually it would be washed and upside down on the sink, drying if the owner of the bag has come home. And he's pretty sure that Changmin had seen the mug.

_I want you to know, I'll never forget you._

Changmin is by the Han River with a can of beer, staring into the distance. It is a quiet weekend and there are not many people around. Much less one who would notice the man with a cap and hoodie, dressed in hiking clothes like any ordinary Korean.

Except for one who would always notice Changmin, no matter how far away he stood from him on stage or surrounded by people.

Yunho leans on the railing next to him.

"How did you find me?"

"Do you really expect an answer to that?"

Changmin finds himself grinning and then he frowns as quickly as it fades.

"Min, I'm here okay? Even if I'm not physically here, I'm here. Even if we are no longer able to be TVXQ together for awhile, I'm here."  
They are quiet for awhile.

"Here, where?" Changmin asks, voice heavy.

"On your left. Where I'm always at. Where your heart is."  
\---

**Author's Note:**

> Also found on livejournal.


End file.
